Weird Word Horoscopes, Summer Season 2009

Below are horoscopes I’ve charted for the summer season, with an unusual twist (because I love unusual twists). For this, I studied current astrological placements/alignments. I also pondered certain intriguing patterns or curious synchronicities that I’ve noticed in connection with people I know who are in the same sun sign group. I then engaged in a bit of meditative logomancy. A brief explanation follows.

I have a couple great books, “Weird Words” and “More Weird Words.” After developing a prognostication with respect to each sun sign, I’ve closed my eyes and randomly selected a word from one of the books which will represent the password or keyword for that particular sign for the season. I’ve then incorporated the word and its meaning into the body of each sign’s horoscope.

When I’ve drawn up horoscopes in the past using the logomancy twist, I’ve found the results to be interesting, amusing and sometimes eerily appropriate.

Enjoy!

ARIES - Your keyword is “miasma” which means: a dangerous, corrupting or deceiving influence or atmosphere. Events and trends right now for your sign are almost confrontational. Some of it appears hazy and feels chaotic and while you have a brighter shore in sight, you may also feel nervous and slightly haunted. You are moving toward a more stable, pleasant phase (the autumn season) but along the way you may be forced to deal with a few noxious situations. Not everyone in your life is whispering sweet nothings or lending a friendly ear. It can be uncomfortable to eliminate stale and poisonous people and/or situations from your life, but it is as necessary at this time as a thorough detox.

TAURUS - Your keyword is “filipendulous” which means: hanging by a thread. Think “wind chimes,” which is not quite as ominous-sounding. You are making pretty music, socially and otherwise, while also spreading yourself pretty thin. Your life is in a delicate but exquisite sort of balance right now, and you know it (or should). You are maniacally juggling priorities while trying to also navigate the winds of change. This will be a cycle of riding high on adrenaline. Be sure to savor any feelings of exhaustion because for now exhaustion also equals accomplishment. Taureans are on a carnival ride sort of cycle - very apropos for summer.

GEMINI - Your keyword is “cicatrix” which means: the scar that forms on a wound that has healed. Well hell, that phrase alone sums it up! You’ve recently come to terms with something big and bad that resided in your psyche. You have begun to move on from it. That metaphoric scar is your badge of honor, a symbol, and a reminder. In addition, there are many different perspectives from which to view the direction of your life lately. Being a Gemini, you can view all of them at once at the same time. You have before you a kaleidoscope of possibility, spin it round and see what catches your eye.

CANCER - Your keyword is “photolysis” which means: the breakdown of substances due to the presence of light. Harsh reality checks are announcing themselves. There are certain options before you, none of which seem viable or appealing but choices must be made. There is a reluctance to make a change for fear of losing ground. Languishing in indecision will not be to your advantage because a choice will be made for you through a breakdown of circumstances. These are necessary evils that must be faced and no path of least resistance (or denial-based detour) will allow you to circumvent them. The upside of all this darkness is the old light at the end of the tunnel concept. You have to go through the darkened tunnel, however, to get to the light.

LEO - Your keyword is hilarious. Well, actually, your keyword is “O.S.S.” which means: an obligatory sex scene. Which is indeed hilarious because a large number of my good friends happen to be Leos, and this is SO perfect for them. This is a time for fun and frolic for Leos and all I can really add to this self-explanatory interpretation is: go ye forth and play, have silly escapades, flirt, seduce, be seduced, explore boundaries, have illicit adventures, cross-pollinate, whatever. The world is your playground and kingdom at the moment. The only sobering caveat is: beware the pity fuck. (And that’s all I will say about that!)

VIRGO - Your keyword is “bouffage” which means: a satisfying meal. You need a break from routine, from the tic toc regularity of life because you are being a cranky poo-pantses more often than you realize. The time is right to indulge yourself, to nurture the areas of your life you have been neglecting. Cater to your senses, honor and stimulate the materialistic and aesthetic aspects of your nature. Stop focusing on the bigger picture, stop planning for the future, give your psyche a rest already. World-weary Virgos need a time off from being practical, methodical, organized, and steady as you go. What you need now is akin to spending a week at a day spa. This will benefit the practical sides of your nature and life more than you realize.

LIBRA - Your keyword is “pygalgia” which means: soreness in the buttocks. Again here’s a word that seems apropos, metaphorically and otherwise. A few of my Libra friends are being unexpectedly visited by one unfortunate or painful experience after another. Or they are physically and/or mentally putting themselves through certain painful challenges with an end goal in mind. It’s a “pain in the ass” time for Libras, whether unexpected or pre-planned. The not so hidden reality is that it is not the painful or unfortunate aspects that are important, but the healing and results that will follow after. The rewards can be sweet indeed.

SCORPIO - Your keyword is “hamartia” which means: the single defect of character in an otherwise decent person, sometimes referred to as the tragic flaw. Scorpios may be going through a vicious downward spiral at this time. They need to weed out and recognize their complicity in these problems because they alone are busy being the architect of their own hell. For those on an exhilarating upswing in their lives, be careful not to overstep or become overconfident because there may be those around you just waiting for you to become distracted. The world is a mirror. What does it show you about your own reflection?

SAGITTARIUS - Your (our) keyword is “philotheoparoptesism” which means: the offering of human sacrifice for religious reasons.
Oh ha ha. Niiiice! What occurs to me, intuitively, and in pondering patterns in my life and of other Sagittarius friends, is that certain deeply personal sacrifices are going to need to be made in order to move forward. (Ugh.) Time to become more closely connected to the human condition instead of operating half the time on autopilot. This will necessitate an almost ceremonial sense of giving in or surrender. This can be almost frightening when one has gotten comfortable with detachment and restraint. There is a sense too that renewing or beginning spiritual or metaphysical pursuits will benefit not just the individual but the creative mind as well. “You have to give a little in order to get a little” is the main mantra for this horoscope.

CAPRICORN - Your keyword is “kinephantom” which means: the illusion of reverse movement in a fast-moving object, such as the spoke of a wheel. This is a time when your life seems filled with deja vu - a sense that what once was may be again, a hyperawareness of the past or that, in the alternative, history is repeating itself. This type of thinking is merely a form of escape for you. For a Capricorn to be sideswiped by illusion is odd, since they are usually so focused on forward achievement. Definite elements of change are operating in your life at present. However, you need to stop looking back so much over your shoulder at the past and refocus your perspective forward. Once done, you will experience a positive acceleration in your life. Now is definitely the time for taking detours, trailblazing, exploring new vistas, going boldly into the unknown, and so on.

AQUARIUS - Your keyword is “yamnoy” which means: an object so bulky, slippery or cumbersome that it is difficult to carry. Look at the burdens you have placed on your shoulders. Do you want them? Are they valuable to you? Study their eventual usefulness in your life. Are you carrying some kind of onerous obligation to or burden for someone else? Is it worth it? Will it be? If what you are shouldering currently is something significant or important to you, there are adjustments you can make to get things to run a bit more smoothly. Find them and make them. Current portents also indicate that big changes have come and gone recently but more shifts are on the horizon. How you deal with the transport of your current burden(s) will determine how effectively and smoothly you transition into a cycle of being extremely busy. You will be in demand in the fall and you will need to set your burdens aside in order to participate fully.

PISCES - Your keyword is “chiliagon” which means: an enclosed figure with one thousand sides. Inspiration is coming at you from all sides, both internally and externally. This may show itself in bouts of weird insomnia or bizarre otherworldly dreams. It will also manifest in strange interludes with others and uncanny coincidences, more than what would be considered typical. You have arrived at a sort of plateau in your life, everything has a place and everything is in its place. It is time to mix things up a bit. Pick a side to your nature that is clamoring for attention and run with it. Your creative side wants exploring too. Anything artistic will do, either something tried and true or something new and not before utilized. It goes with out saying you are also being nudged to expand your social horizons as well. Let all your quirks have a say in your persona, and see what kind of escapades or creativity results.